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Old blog from wap site .. still me in ways x
Posted by xxcharxx on 5.01.12 - 03:13am

Lately,I feel happy Then sad, sad then happy, everyones staring at me and all their eyes are telling me the same thing,; Get over it I dont get it though, Im feeling under pressure at home, at school and when i escape with friends i can feel my coinfidence fade, Most of the time. i smile Alot and thats because im keeping everyone dear to me so close, Im not keeping in what shouldnt be said, im changing again, But this time i dont want to burst and ruin it like all of the other times, because its Me that really does ruin it, You know when you feel; something is wrong here, & you panic and lash out? at the ones you hold close? because now, no matter what they do it isnt what you want? We're all abit too pessemistic and thats just how it is i guess, but i feel like i shouldnt be wallowing in my own self pitty anymore and should be doing what everyone else is doing; Getting over it. i dunno what else to think, i really dont wanna be like this no more, because its come to the point that i can see break in peoples faces, they want to shout at me now, not lie with their comforting words, they want to tell me where to go and get doing it now. i read something not so long ago and it made me smile, not because it was funny or even enjoyable to read, but because its so right; Pain is inefitable, suffering is optional. i totally get it, and thats what i wanna do, give up on thinking and just live, everyone else is doing it, right? so why the hell cant i. i'm gunna try i promise and even if i do it for the people who arent here no more and cared so much they never sweet talked me and told me staight, if i do it for them then maybe everyone will like me more, Yeah? i know i can do it. i just have to believe and forget everything else, but whats important. i dont need any fake religion to have faith i just need to think;Less.; x *

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