Business Jokes

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.


SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, cr*ps on everything, and then leaves.


CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.


PRAIRIE d0gginG: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.


MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.


SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, And Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.


STARTER MARRIAGE: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.


STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.


SWIPED OUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.


XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.


IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example. Bill Clinton's shameful video Grand Jury testimony is another.


PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again.


VULCAN NERVE PINCH: The taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the arm reboot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control Key, the Command Key, the Return Key, and the Power On key. For Windows it's Ctrl, Alt, Delete simultaneously.


YUPPIE FOOD STAMPS: The ubiquitous USD20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal...We each owe USD8, but all anybody's got are yuppie food stamps.


SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to die in the end.


ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.


404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message 404 Not Found, meaning that the requested document could not be located.


GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions.


OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

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