Men & Women Jokes

Men are like.....Coffee

The best ones are rich, warm, full-bodied, and can keep you up all night long.


Men are like.....Cement

After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.


Men are like.....Chocolate Bars

Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.


Men are like.....Blenders

You need one, but you're not quite sure why.


Men are like.....Coolers

Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.


Men are like.....Copiers

You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.


Men are like.....Curling irons

They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.


Men are like.....Government bonds

They take so long to mature.


Men are like.....High heels

They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.


Men are like.....Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.


Men are like.....Lawn Mowers

If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.


Men are like.....Lava lamps

Fun to look at, but not all that bright.


Men are like.....Laxatives

They irritate the s**t out of you.


Men are like.....Mascara

They usually run at the first sign of emotion.


Men are like.....Mini skirts

If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.


Men are like.....Noodles

They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.


Men are like.....Plungers

They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.


Men are like.....Chinese food

They satisfy you, but only for a little while.


Men are like.....Placemats.

They only show up when there's food on the table.


Men are like.....Snowstorms.

You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get or how long he will last.


Men are like.....Used Cars.

Both are easy-to-get, cheap, and unreliable.


Men are like.....Vacations.

They never seem to be long enough.


Men are like.....the Weather.

Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

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