Ethnic Jokes

1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning to cook outside.

2. You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY!

3. You don't have any problems pr*nouncing Worcestershire sauce correctly.

4. For breakfast, you prefer potatoes au gratin to grits.

5. You don't know what a moon pie is.

6. You've never had an RC cola.

7. You've never eaten fried okra.

8. You've never eaten boiled okra.

9. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

10. You don't know what a polecat is.

11. You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a dog.

12. You don't have bangs.

13. More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the same prep school in Connecticut.

14. You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.

15. Instead of referring to two or more people as y'all, you call them you guys, even if both of them are women.

16. You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-and-knife show.

17. You think your university should spend more money on scientific research than on the salary of the head football coach.

18. You buy your motor oil at a gas station and have the attendant put it in.

19. The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on an on-ramp to the highway.

20. You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.

21. You call binoculars opera glasses.

22. You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.

23. You would never wear pink.

24. Your children have play dates.

25. You don't know how to make a doily.

26. You don't use doilies.

27. You don't know anyone with at least two first names (e.g., Joe Bob, Mary Alice, Bubba Dean).

28. You get freaked out when people you don't know talk to you in public.

29. You can do your laundry without quarters.

30. None of your fur coats are homemade.

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