Miscellaneous Jokes

Dec. 8 5:00 p.m. - It's starting to snow, the first of
the season, and the wife and I took our buttered rum and sat
by the window watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging
to the trees and covering the ground. It was so beautiful.

Dec. 9 - We awoke to a big beautiful blanket of crystal
white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight.
Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful white mantel.
I shoveled snow for the first time in years, and I loved it.
I did both our driveway and our sidewalks. Later the
snowplow came along and covered up our driveway with
compacted snow from the street. He smiled and I waved back.
I shoveled it again.

Dec. 12 - The sun has melted most of our lovely snow. Oh
well, I'm sure we'll get a little more before this lovely
winter is over.

Dec. 14 - It snowed 8 inches last night and the temperature
dropped to about 0 degrees. Shoveled the sidewalk and
driveway again. Shortly the snowplow came by and did his
trick again.

Dec. 15 - Sold our car and bought a 4x4 Blazer so we could
get through the snow. Bought snow tires for the truck.

Dec. 18 - Fell on my as* on the ice in the driveway. USD23.00
to the chiropractor, but nothing was broken, thank God! The
d*mn sky is getting dark again.

Dec. 19 - Still cold (-10 this a.m.) Icy roads making for
very tough driving. Slid into a guard rail with my wife's
car. Probably a USD100.00 damage or so. She's p*ssed-off.

Dec. 20 - Had another 14 inches of the white s**t last
night. More shoveling in store for me today. That d*mned
snowplow came by twice.

Dec. 22 - We are assured of a white Christmas because
another 7 inches of that white s**t fell today and with this
freezing weather it won't melt till August! Got all dressed
up to go out and shovel that s**t again. (Boots, snowsuit,
jacket, scarf, earmuf*s, gloves, etc...) then got the urge to
pee.

Dec 24 - If I ever catch the son-of-a-b*tch that drives
that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls.
I think he hides around the corner and waits for me to
finish shovelling and then comes down the street 100 miles
an hour and throws that white s**t everywhere.

Dec. 25 - MERRY CHRISTMAS... they predict 12 more inches of
the fking white stuff tonight. Does anyone know how many
d*mned shovels full of snow 12 inches is? To hell with
Santa, he doesn't have to shovel that white s**t. The
snowplow driver came by asking for a donation. I hit him
with my ice axe.

Dec. 28 - We got 11 more inches. I must be going snowblind
or have a severe case of depression.

Dec. 29 - The toilet froze and the roof is starting to
cave-in. If you go outside, don't eat the brown snow.

Dec. 30 - I torched the d*mned house ... moving back to
Florida!

Next (1)

Prev (2)

Jokes (8)

Report this joke!