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Subject: Worst overlong ridiculous band names
Replies: 4 Views: 4777

djdean 9.01.14 - 04:13pm
Just found this interesting article from Terrorizer magazine, and I want to share it with you.

20. Monkeys Are Machine Guns
The sideproject (another one) from
Anaal Nathrakhs Mick Kenney and
two of Combichrist are brilliant, and
have some superb song titles (Im
Not Racist, I Just Hate A Lot is an
office favourite), but the name
blows. It was kept in the lower
reaches of this list only by the
amusing mental image of monkey
s**t being fired off at 100 rounds
per minute.
19. The Tony Danza Tap Dance
Extravaganza
If Tony Danza could tap dance to
this, the footage would be the most
watched thing on YouTube. Making
crushingly brilliant and totally
deranged metal does not expunge
the truly rubbish name though.
18. An Autumn For Crippled
Children
This scored highly on the
meaningless front. What exactly
does this mean, and is there a way
we can discuss this without
sounding like Frankie Boyle?
Probably not.
17. Clinging To The Trees Of A Forest
Fire
We really didnt want to include
these fine crushing fellows,
especially after their great split with
Nesseria earlier this year, but for all
the musical brilliance, the name is
daft. If the forest is on fire, how do
you cling on to the trees? Why
would you want to?
16. And So I Watch You From A Far
This isnt necessarily a bad name,
but its very creepy
and unnecessarily long. Stalker
would have had the same
implications and taken half the time
to say.
15. Success Will Write Apocalypse
Across The Sky
We know everyone loves some grindy
death metal, and we know this is a
William S. Burroughs reference, but
its simply excessive, and out of
context means fk all. Also,
SWWAATS is an unintentionally silly
acronym.
14. From A Second Story Window
Without even entering into debates
about whether or not there should
be an e in Story, this means
nothing. What is from a second
storey window? Are you falling?
Because thats not all that * +

djdean 9.01.14 - 04:15pm
Because thats not all that high up.
Is it a view? Because youre still not
that high up. This is a classic case
of try to sound clever, end up
saying nothing.
13. Acid Mothers Temple The
Melting Paraiso U.F.O.
The Japanese experimentalists
managed to come up with a name
that takes longer to say than the
running time of Reign In Blood. If
theyd stuck with Acid Mothers
Temple, they might have got away
with it, but extending it was not the
way to go.
12. The Number Twelve Looks Like
You
This might be the name of a Twilight
Zone episode, but it also sounds like
a bingo call gone wrong. They do get
kudos for a pretty cool blog
explaining why they split up though .
11. The Sun Came Up On The Left
These American underground black
metallers might be rather good, but
the name is totally without meaning.
Also, what black metaller allows
themselves to be hit by the
sunlight? Surely you should be in a
cave somewhere cultivating a
lifeless, pale complexion.
10. Arsonists Get All The Girls
No they dont. Just no. Were not
going to have an Alan Partridge
moment, but they dont. Sorry.
9. Iwrestledabearonce
AKAwevehadfartoomuchcoffeeandourspacebarisbroken.
Wrestlingbearsmaybeseriouslyfkingmetal,
butthenamesstilldaft.
8. Flagitious Idiosyncrasy In The
Dilapidation
Even once you look up what
flagitious means (and we know you
did), this still means absolutely
nothing beyond Look mum! Ive got
a thesaurus!.
7. Vincent Prices Orphan Powered
Death Machine
We came across these guys after
undertaking extensive research, and
discovered they were a local
hardc*re band somewhere in
Pennsylvania before going their
separate ways. The name was so
heroically rubbish we felt compelled
to include them.
6. Mincing Fury And Guttural
Clamour Of Queer Decay
Admittedly, the idea of mincing fury
does make us smile (and would
probably make a good name for a
power metal parody band) but these * +

djdean 9.01.14 - 04:21pm
Czech grinders have us scratching
our heads trying to work out what
the hell it means.
5. We Butter The Bread With Butter
Out of all the ideas for band names
that are going to make someone
interested, at which particular point
did they think I know! Buttering
breads really cool, so lets
incorporate that into our name.
Thats a fairly lame idea. Making it
long and lame is worse. The name is,
terrifyingly, better than their music
though
4. Paladins of the Golden Power
Fights With the Great Sword Of
Eternal Magic And The Great Kings
Will
This band would have won hands
down, had they not been a parody
power metal act. It is quite effective
at taking the pi*s out of the sword-
waving elf-obsessives, but takes it
just a little too far. And then keeps
going. And going. And in a world
where theres already Fairlyand (ace
band, daft name), isnt the funniest
available.
3. Kiss The an*s Of A Black Cat
Because obviously thats a mental
we all wanted. A cats balloon knot
belongs nowhere near the human
mouth. Under any circumstances.
Even in a band name.
2. UnglUnlRrlhChchch
Erm I we but no.
1.Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis
These Mexican goregrinders win by
an absolute lightyear, mangling the
entire medical dictionary into one
word so long you could listen to the
entire Kreator discography before
youd got half way through. This is
truly, spectacularly, and
unnecessarily long. * +

vampboy 9.01.14 - 04:46pm
* +

djdean 9.01.14 - 08:15pm
hahaha *

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