Cigarettes and alcohol

@ mikeymk - 9.06.20 - 05:51pm
I neither smoke or drink these days, but i dread to think how much i spent in the past. They kept me so skint for so long, caused so many problems, it's embarrassing looking back. I'd spend so much time driving shitty auction cars, and fixing second hand stuff other people buy new, whilst living in a rented room on a diet of dry cider and spliffs.

I never really gave anything up. That's the secret to giving up. It's so much easier when you're doing something out of choice, as opposed to being forbidden - even by yourself. I never gave up smoking, i just haven't done it for years because it's shit. It's dirty, it stinks. Why would i? I'll have a Guinness with a meal, if out. I'll have a beer with friends at a barbecue. It's been months. Never gave it up, just doesn't happen.

The problem is habit. There are probably people out there spending all their money on gaming. Living a compromised life, satisfying an addiction. No difference, really.

Ultimately it's fine if these things are making you happy and you ain't hurting anyone. Just don't wait until regret makes you stop.

I remembered meeting this one Asian chick in my college city. We were having this first opening of university day thing. Everyone was pumped up. We were about to get on a boat across the river with this whole group. I remember puffing one smoke after another, and all of a sudden she looked at me with this weird face of disgust and asked me how much I smoked.
I shrugged and told her a pack or so. She said it seemed like I was smoking more (which is true) then said with a face of pity, ''that's really sad. You must really not like your life'' You could call her all sorts of names for intruding, but that hit me on a level I can't quite describe. Because it was true. Because people could see the looming shadow of cigarettes I carried everywhere I went. I hated how I felt. I hated my life even while loving it intensely. It was an addiction. This became a major wake up call. * +

mikeymk 9.06.20 - 06:48pm

@ vampboy - 9.06.20 - 06:03pm
I remembered meeting this one Asian chick in my college city. We were having this first opening of university day thing. Everyone was pumped up. We were about to get on a boat across the river with this whole group. I remember puffing one smoke after another, and all of a sudden she looked at me with this weird face of disgust and asked me how much I smoked.
I shrugged and told her a pack or so. She said it seemed like I was smoking more (which is true) then said with a face of pity, ''that's really sad. You must really not like your life'' You could call her all sorts of names for intruding, but that hit me on a level I can't quite describe. Because it was true. Because people could see the looming shadow of cigarettes I carried everywhere I went. I hated how I felt. I hated my life even while loving it intensely. It was an addiction. This became a major wake up call.

There's definitely something in the viscous circle aspect. That's how gamblers and druggies hit rock-bottom, isn't it? You don't get there whilst still doing it for fun. The more it takes over, the more your life suffers. * +

mikeymk 9.06.20 - 06:53pm

@ warded - 9.06.20 - 05:52pm
My brother spends like 8 euros per day on cigarettes.

3,000 eu a year is worth having. Can run a nice car or hobby on that. Sort the kitchen. Best garden ever. Wicked cinema/hi-fi system. Every year a new choice. *