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Subject: the price of love is grief
Replies: 98 Views: 8718
tazdevil 5.12.15 - 12:00am
sorry in advance 4 wot will be a longish post but, this will be the 1st time i hav ever really said wots happening in my rship.. I'm not looking 4 a quick fix coz i know that i hav brought this on myself.. dont read if u dont want 2 but, i feel i need 2 write it down
my bf is getting married soon.. his parents hav found a girl 4 him and he doesnt hav the strength 2 say ''NO'' i dont feel cheated or anything as i always knew this day wud come.. he made it very clear when we 1st met.. he comes from a small town in punjab moreover, things are different in india.. ppl live out their sexuality in secret whilst being married which i strongly disapprove of as its quite unfair on the girl they are married 2 but, they are powerless.. theirs family expectations, friends expectations, society pressure and then it is sum sort of obligation 2 allow ur parents 2 be grandparents.. i wont say india is backward but, it is not advanced either when it comes 2 gay marriage/rships
not every1 in india is cool, brave and bold like me.. hopefully in the future, we wont hav 2 hide our love from others and we can marry who we want without any worry
anyway, i met my bf on a gay dating site 2yrs ago.. we chatted online and talked on the phone 4 a couple of days b4 meeting each other in person (i think i was already in love with him) when we met, it just confirmed it.. when i laid my eyes on him 4 the very 1st time, my heart fluttered.. i had a butterfly type sensation in my stomach and i fell head over heels 4 him which marked the beginning of our romance
u know, I'm gud at judging ppl.. i can read sum1s face and their body language, notice their facial expressions, way of talking etc and i can tell whether the person has all the required qualities or not.. i hav an ability/gift 2 tell whether sum1 is a c**t or not, even if they hav given no obvious indications of being 1.. soo i looked in his eyes and i cud see his soul.. such a sexy innocent face
we hav bin 2gether ever since * +
tazdevil 5.12.15 - 12:00am
he makes me feel loved everyday and he is very understanding.. i share everything with him like i tell him bout my crushes and he laughs at the amount of men i fancy lol we trust each other implicitly
he always says sweet things like i'll be in my dirty boxers with greasy hair and oily/spotty skin and he'll just say baby ur soo beautifull and I'm like JESUS REALLY lol he tells me quite a few times a day he loves me and i know he means it every time as do i when i say it 2 him
he cooks 4 me, takes care of me and rings me everyday just 2 hear my voice.. he comes over 2 give me a kiss from time 2 time when hes on the laptop.. incase i think hes neglecting me lol we are a very soppy pair but, our rship is not all bout lovey-dovey stuff, its alot deeper
his existence in my life has made me soo much more secure, happier, settled and less paranoid.. if i hav 2 write an autobiography (supposing this is the last day of my life) the biggest chapter will be bout him and now hes getting married in few weeks (it all happend very fast) it just feels like life will never be the same again
perhaps his purpose was 2 give me an experience of ''true love'' i talked 2 him 2day and told him i cudnt stay friends with him once hes married coz i loved him toooo much and wudnt want 2 create complications in his married life but, he didint understand why i said that and he told me he didint want 2 lose me as a friend.. he said he wud always be there 4 me and wanted me 2 make new sweet memories.. he asked me not 2 take it as a failure coz i live in his heart and memories eternally
i dont know whether staying friends is a gud or bad decision.. a part of me says i need 2 let go yet the other part of me says theirs no harm in staying friends.. on 1 hand, i wish i never had this affair coz of how I'm feeling and the pain that feels but, on the other hand, it was wonderfull 2 experience wot i did.. i will always cherish those moments and the time we spent 2gether
i'll shut up now * +
kid_ka0s 5.12.15 - 12:01am
Fk reading that, I'm going bed. * +
iilmadme 5.12.15 - 12:05am
(hug) maybe u will be able to be friends later,when it stops hurting so much * +
msdeedee 5.12.15 - 12:22am
You meet everybody for a reason, some good, some bad. But you always learn something regardless of the reason. Imo, you cannot be friends with someone you have feelings for coz your feelings will always cloud your judgement. It would also not be fair to his new wife. Take this as a lesson and let go. Just as there was a reason for him coming into your life, there is a reason this woman came into his. * +
mikeymk 5.12.15 - 12:33am
I read the first one, then realised there was a sequel..
(facepalm)
The first one will do.
(tea)
Yes it's wrong, everywhere. He and the bride should both tell their families to fk off, it's their lives. Simply put, by being controlled by their families, they have no freedom. If taking control there would put them in danger, well, they have the choice to move to countries where they'd have freedom, so.. Down to them, innit. * +
piggle 5.12.15 - 12:37am
Isn't the usual thing to do is throw battery acid in her face or summin? I dunno... * +
sensible 5.12.15 - 12:39am
(roflmao) * +
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